The Streets | Standup Against Violence

Sexual Harassment in the Streets

Hands sliding out of the crowd to touch you, cyclists grabbing your chunni, leering comments from group of ‘boys’, eyes which undress you in the bus, auto drivers adjusting mirrors so they could check you out or a man brushing against you deliberately. Sexual harassment, otherwise known as ‘eve-teasing’ in India, on the streets is both extremely common and infinitely distressing.

What it is

In brief, sexual harassment is unwelcome attention in numerous forms like whistling etc. The main problem with a definition is its association with the term ‘eve teasing’.

The term ‘eve-teasing’ implies harmless fun, which women even secretly desire or like. ‘Eve’ implies a woman who is a temptress or a seductress, who invites the attention and probably deserves the consequences of that attention. ‘Eve-teasing’ is symbolic to the light heartedness of those situations in Bollywood movies and songs, where the heroine resists the unwanted attention of the hero only to fall in love with him later.

However, it is not that harmless. It is a traumatic experience for the woman. Eve-teasing is a misnomer – it hides the power dynamics behind the incident of sexual harassment. It is not only a crime under the Indian Penal Code, but also a violation of Constitutional rights, of freedom to move about freely and to live with self-respect and dignity.

Why do men harass? Studies have shown that men harass because women are easy targets. Because they know that they can get away with it under the cover of a crowd. It’s a form of ‘cheap thrills’ and a way to tell women – the streets are our domain. Your place is in the home, if you are out on the streets then you can become a target. It’s a form of patriarchal control on women and their mobility. It has nothing to do with dress or attitude.

Forms of sexual harassment on the Street/ Public spaces

“After living here for two years, I will be truly glad to leave, because of the incessant verbal, visual and physical sexual harassment I received from men on the streets. I am a white woman and that made me a marked target.” a British national who came to study Sanskrit, [The Hindu, 11/09/2005]

“From a running car, they caught my shirt collar and almost pulled me out. I kept driving and dialled 100 on my mobile.” A young woman driver who was almost pulled out of her car by four drunken men, very near to the Delhi Police headquarters, [TOI, 25/08/2002]

The majority of women are harassed in a number of ways and in different forms. .

It could happen any where–crowded buses, trains, lonely subways, busy pavements and streets, swarming market places, auto rickshaws, taxis, roads, parks, empty lanes, nooks and corners. It could happen any time of the day –not only concealed in the darkness of the night, but in broad daylight as well. It could happen irrespective of whether the place is buzzing with people and activity or empty.

The following are some ways:

Staring
Leering
Gesticulating obscene signals
Showing private parts
Scratching groin while staring at you
Touching
Groping
Pinching
Winking
Feeling up
Singing songs
Calling you obscene nicknames such as ‘Sexy’, ‘Rani’, ‘Mirchi’, ‘Pataka’, ‘Bomb’, ‘Item’, ‘Gulab jamun’, ‘Atom bomb’, ‘Phuljhari’, ‘Laddoo’ and so on
Brushing past your body
Standing too close
Passing double entendres
Propositioning
Vehicles following you
Drivers honking/crashing against you deliberately
Making kissing sounds
Staring at your breasts
Asking personal questions
Kissing or demanding a kiss
Following you
Rubbing body parts against you
Fondling breasts
Stalking
‘Accidentally’ touching you
Bumping against you

What do you feel when you are harassed? After the initial shock, there are gush of other feelings –intimidation, fear, anger, confusion and most of all, helplessness for letting the harasser get away with it..

You feel violated.

And yet, there are women who refuse to name it, call it sexual harassment. We simply give an excuse to the behaviour of the harasser. ‘Boys will be like this only’ or ‘Men are men’ or ‘these things happen’. But sexual harassment derives its meaning not from the intention of the harasser, but from the offensive nature of the action. Any act or gesture –verbal, non-verbal, physical, non-physical, covert, overt –which makes you feel this way is sexual harassment.

Possible Steps

“I always check my surroundings but there are times when you don’t pay attention.” Senior Lawyer, Delhi, [India Today, 20/10/2008]

You are sitting on an aisle seat in a crowded bus and the man standing beside you is rubbing against you. What do you do? A common response of most women will be to move away and ignore it. But that is not the only response you can give.

Personal Safety

“I stay out late often, either because of work or socializing. I travel by local trains in Mumbai as late as 1 a.m. and I have never felt insecure. It’s not the same in Delhi, where every time I step into a public space, I feel eyes on me.” A female traveller in Delhi, [The Week, 19/10/2008]

“While the physical wounds healed, it was harder to recover from the mental trauma…. Mumbai may be touted as the safest metro but that does not hold true for me” A 28 year TV Executive, [India Today, 20/10/2008]

A sense of security is a relative, depending on personal experiences, upbringing and exposure to a particular place. A public space which is safe for one woman may be unsafe for the other. It is important you devise your own ways of deflating danger. Your intuition and instinct is a good index to help you judge the situation.

When it happens in public spaces, your first objective must be to remove yourself from the situation of threat and danger.
You do not need to carry knives or mirchi powder. Instead items commonly carried during travelling such as a pen, deodorants, safety pin, hair pins, keys, books, umbrella, bags, elbows, etc could become your weapon.
BUT use physical force only as a last option.
Be alert when you are out. Be aware of your environment, especially if you are travelling to a new city. Often, this is evident by your dressing style, accent, etc and people may take advantage.
Walk against the traffic when walking on a road/street. This helps you to not get caught unawares of cars/cycles/bikes coming from the front.
If you are caught in a situation where the harasser is aggressive, see if you can use sweet talk/ false promises to get away from the situation.
React immediately when the harasser corners you. Most of the times, the harasser does not expect you to speak out. He is counting on you to be afraid of him or to be too shy to voice your opinion.
If you are in a cab or in an auto rickshaw, quietly note the number plate. Do the same even if it is an office cab and you are travelling late in night.
Keep a friend/family friend informed where you headed to, especially if you are new to the city. For instance, when you are heading back home from work inform a family member.
Keep emergency contact numbers in hand. One way of securing these numbers is to save them as speed dials in your mobile phone. This way you can dial them when you need help and even create witnesses to the incident.
Communicate immediately when you feel cornered or intimidated. This alone may help to deflate the situation as the harasser does not expect you to speak out.

Confront the harasser

“If a man brushes up against you in a bus, are you going to jump off the bus and lodge an FIR? We have developed our own mechanisms that are far more effective than lodging an FIR – say, slapping or embarrassing the offender by shouting.”
– Women’s Feature Service, 23/05/2009

No – you cannot go to the police for a leering look by a passerby or for deliberately bumping against you or for even simply looking. What do you do? It is more effective to confront the harasser. Take him by surprise by naming his behaviour for what it is and embarrass him in public. .

Indian women have for ages been groomed to treat sexual harassment with silence. Teenagers have been advised by their mothers – “Ignore any lewd looks or comments when you are out in the streets. Maintain your dignity”. But it is by voicing out your protest that you show more respect to your self. No one has a right to sexually harass you. You not only stop your own harassment, it will also make the harasser think twice before he harasses someone else. Sometimes the harasser vanishes quickly, before you can even react to him. If the harasser gets away, do not berate yourself. Remember, he has already planned ahead his route of escape, while you are caught unaware. Your anger is justified, but not your guilt. It was not your fault it happened.

Profile of a harasser

Most harassers choose their victims with care. It is important that you know how his mind works, in order to deal with him better. ..

Harassers usually attack in public spaces, if ……

They perceive the victim as easy (that is, unaware, shy or fearful)
They perceive you as different, an outsider, a tourist or simply new to the place
They think it will be easy for them to escape
They think you will not react and take it silently
They think they can corner or intimidate you.
They perceive crowded places as an excuse to get away or use it to their benefit.

Know the do and don’ts for confronting the harasser.

Be direct and specific in your approach. Say exactly what he did and how it is not ‘on’ for you. Practice before, if needed. “You just _________. It is sexual harassment. Stop harassing women!”
If you are in a crowded bus or taxi, ask him nevertheless to move. Make sure you communicate you are not liking the fact that he’s standing close to you. Ask him to move if needed, especially when there’s space.
Make his actions visible. Name the action exactly the way it happened. Like, ‘Stop staring. Not seen a girl before?’ Be loud and to the point.
Embarrass him.
Keep your tone serious.
Control your body language while confronting. Be strong and maintain direct eye contact. Stand straight while talking and keep your voice firm.
Remember, having a sense of humour has got nothing to do with sexual harassment. Do inform the perpetrator has one of poor taste, if he thinks he can have fun at your expense.
Remember, it is your prerogative to end the conversation. You do not need to continue arguing or owe him (or listen to) any explanations. If he argues, interrupt him and end the dialogue.

Dont’s

Do not slouch, giggle, smile, hesitate, squirm or cry.
Do not hurl abuses at him. Do not become over-emotional while approaching him.
Do not use a gentle or a timid tone while confronting harasser.
Do not give excuses for the actions of the harasser. Or defend him for that matter. When you are offended by his actions, say so. Do not deny his misconduct for interest in you or that it is an aspect of his nature and that he can’t help it. Do not deny that it happened.
Do not respond to his excuses or arguments. Interrupt him if needed.
Do not hesitate to use a physical response if needed.
Do not blame yourself for the perpetrator’s action in any way.
Do not linger long on the confrontation. Make it quick, precise and to-the-point.
Do not assume you are alone while facing sexual harassment. Involve others.

Make a Scene!

Draw a crowd if needed. Take help from people around you, especially when you feel threatened for your safety. Do not hesitate to name the action.

Complain loudly what the harasser did and that it is sexual harassment. A harasser does not expect you to make his actions visible. Drawing a crowd will not only embarrass him, but it will make his getting away more difficult. Just as the harasser is looking for anonymity or an excuse in the presence of a crowd, you too can draw your safety from the crowd.

When the Crowd refuses to help

However, in situations where you call for help and yet people do not respond to you, give specific orders to people around you. Say out loud, “I need your help Sir/Madam. This man here is harassing me”.

Sometimes people are just confused if the situation warrants for their attention. Be specific in your call for help. Directly address the person from whom you are seeking help.

If you still find that people around you do not respond, understand that they do not want to get into trouble. Call a helpline (103 if you are in Mumbai and 1091 in Delhi) or the Police at 100.

Devise your own Strategy

Here are some real life stories of women strategising and confronting sexual harassment. Street smart strategies can enable you to buy time and get away from potential harm. .

Nandini, a college student from Delhi, while on her way home noticed a man on a bike watching her. Sensing his intentions she crossed the road and took the first bus that came to avoid him. As she got off the bus she realized that he had followed her. He told her to come with him and demanded a kiss. Nandini pretended she was charmed by him and agreed to meet up with him the next day… Needless to say she did not keep her appointment for the next day.
– from ‘Girls Fight Back’ by Jagori

Street smart strategies can range from negotiating or sweet talking with the harasser, pretending you are hurt, acting insane to giving false hopes, saying what he wants to hear, giving wrong information about yourself or even sheer flattery! This basically means to do what you think the harasser will find unexpected, and then get away from the situation, while you have time!

Preventing sexual harassment is one of the best ways of dealing with it. Use your intuition to judge the situation. A commonsensical approach and your presence of mind can help you to get away in a situation of potential threat.

Tips for safety

A woman travelling in a public bus was being harassed by a man who was exposing his genitals to her. Instead of looking shocked and ashamed, she laughed loudly and pointing to his genitals said, ‘Oh my goodness, they are so tiny!’. The man was so embarrassed he got off from the bus immediately!
-From real life story in ‘Girls Fight Back’ by Jagori

Remove yourself physically from a situation of threat.
If you find a stranger staring at you, then look at him for about 3 seconds (not more than that). You can also look at him, up and down, and then turn your face with disdain. This simple exercise implies you are not interested in him.
If you think a car is following you, then cross the road and start moving the opposite direction.
While walking on the roads, walk against the traffic flow.
Women who walk with dogs are less likely to be harassed, than those who don’t.
Do not give away your real name and other details while talking to absolute strangers (fellow passengers in public transport, etc). This must be followed especially when you are travelling to a different city for work or are a tourist. You do not need to talk when you don’t want to.
When travelling, often a reasonably full bus or trains are safer options than taking a cab or an auto rickshaw. Watch out for the rear view mirrors in the latter, which are often reportedly used for checking out female passengers rather than the traffic!
If you are uncomfortable using a lift with another person, then don’t.
Prepare yourself psychologically to use physical force if needed. The eyes, groin and throat are vulnerable spots, even in the harasser. Something as simple as throwing mud into harasser’s eyes can help you to escape!
Be aware of your surroundings –the sounds, people and so on. For instance, walking with ear plugs will make it difficult for you to assess if and when someone approaches you from behind.

Sharing

“People run up and grab my butt, my breast and brush against me purposely. It happens so fast. I will be walking with my boyfriend and it makes no difference. After that I go through post-traumatic stress. You are so angry and humiliated. There is no one to talk to.” Laura Neuhaus, [SAWF website, 17/7/2006]

When you are sexually harassed, it is important you share the experience with a trusted friend or a family member. This not only helps to create a witness (should you choose to follow legal action), but friends or family members can be important source of support for you. Research studies have shown that women who have shared their trauma with others have recovered faster from the stress and trauma than those who did not confide.

Going to the Police

“The law is weak, it is not seen as a strict legal offence, and there are logistical and administrative hurdles in following up cases of ‘eve teasing’. The women, after a few months of pursuing their complaints, also lose sense of conviction as they realize that under the existing laws, there is no solution.” Jasveen Alhuwalia, IFES, Jaipur, [The Hindu, 11/09/2005]

Approaching the police is wrought with its own set of challenges which you must be mentally prepared for. The general apathy of the police is well known. Nevertheless, reporting sexual harassment is important. It will help to know how it ought to work. You need to know your legal rights. You need to know what constitutes sexual harassment under the law and under what section it falls. You need to know the process by which the legal action ensues. Know from before what filing a FIR entails. If needed, take a friend or a family member along with you to the Police Station.